eloquent mind

catch_icy @ 2004-07-21T22:08:00

2004-07-21T12:47:56Z

i had a fun week heheh.. the holidays is almost up and i hvnt actually had the chance to catch up with alot of my friends *sob* Ive actually been spending the week with my family and family friends. During the day i would be out then be back at h0me in the evenings..tired to do anything m0re. The weekend was fun...HEAPS!! i got to go to katoomba for the very first time YAY!! FINALLY!!! I got a wake up call from my dad to get ready to go to katoomba. I went with my dad, bro, uncle and grandad. Obviously you can see the trend that i was the only grl :( yes...very sad!! hehehe (not really). Anyways the drive was not very long as i would have expected. Hopefully when i get my provision license i will take my friends there for a drive. Sunday was actually i very good day to go ..cos the fact that it was very windy and cold as well as ICY !! YES..it snowed. It was so beautiful driving to katoomba as there was snow on the sides of the roads. You could actually tell who lived in the area as the cars driving opposite to us was still covered in ice. hahaha. We found a quite park covered in snow and jus hanged for awhile. Obviously we had snow fights. Being the only girl i was ganged up by everyone ..
:( that didnt worry me cos i had fun..thats what counts. Actually experiencing snow fights is a ful-fillment. Afterwards we went and saw the three sisters.YAy!!

Anyways ive jus been shopping. Went to parra yesterday to buy pressies for my cousins in phils which my uncle would give to them as gifts. hmm..not really jealous of them cos of the fact that i have everything here with me. Im not putting an argument. But sometimes i jus wished they knew how we lived. Okay fine! our lives here are better off than in philippines but its all hard work from morning to evening and still the evening is short to even rest as there are things at home to do. In phils even though there's work ...there is still time for rest..one of my cousins have a maid..okay gosh ...thats jus spoiling the kids as there is no need for them..its not practical really. Anyways the only jealously i have is that my relatives all have each other no matter what. There will always be laugh and joys..especially with such a large family. In here...i only have my uncle and his family...thats not much...but im still thankful as no matter what..we enjoy each others company...play around and stuff. NO FIGHTS!! between families. *smiles*

TO end this journal...my family and i went to castle hill towers today. I swear its such a poshy place. Heaps expensive things that i couldnt buy..as it was not practical at all. My uncle came back from his work in Queensland and he bought my siblings and cousins things but not me :(.. I really didnt mind but i think he felt guilty so he asked me to choose anything that i wanted. Its funni cos at Castle Hill i couldnt find anything..anyways ended up him buying me a rip curl $80 jacket that was 50% off...so $40.. BARGAIN!! hehehe oh..and a beanie hahaha.. cute stuff.

unrecognised emotions...

2004-07-15T07:21:25Z

At the times of uncertainites and fears. When i may question the things that have occurred or jus leading to a place of torment. Many people may find them silly to make such fuss over but it is these that actually gets to people. I try to place myself in a different perspective. Many people deal with issues in many different possible ways. I tend to ignore them, turn to music or express thoughts through writing. Music is such a powerful instrument...it not only depicts life...it also shows and allows people to feel the deeper emotions of life, joy and suffering. It gives warmt to those who consume it. I rather enjoy writing thoughts cos the fact that i cant bare to expose and express my thoughts to others. They are rather complex to actually define.

Im not saying that my whole melodramatic emotions are the worse ive encountered, rather jus uncertainties and to define them will actually secure me. I suppose life is one adventurous search to unravel..i also like to think of them as emotions of guidance. I mean without suffering there can be no compassion. Without cries there can be no laughter and without death there can be no life. I think we are better off with these emotions. Learning and understanding life is one thing but actually experiencing, that is a whole new perspective i quite enjoy. It is wat we do that actually shaped us. Failure is not the end until you except it!.

>>being the emotional self that i am..

catch_icy @ 2004-07-15T10:51:00

2004-07-15T01:34:28Z

Its my brother bday today. Ive got so much to do with the preparations for his party on friday. I mean it is not a big party but the food preparations are the worse. I like preparing fruit salads and making desserts the night before.. then there also the food preparations on the day. I so hate cutting vegeatables and meat up. Im always expected to do that..so yeh that basically the preparation. I didnt intend on buying my bro a bday gift. Not that i dont have money its just that he has a job now at KFC. He can buy the things he wants. Anyways he understands. Dont get me wrong...im not greedy, i also spend for my friends. heheh Happy Birthday baba!!

I went shopping yesterday at parra with sis. I tried to find jobs but none were advertised :( *breathes* i feel like giving up. I suppose the reason i dont have a job is that maybe im not suppose to have one. Maybe i will find it difficult to study and work at the same time. err fate will decide. ohh..i had a weird encounter yesterday. As i walked pass inside parra shops to go h0me..i saw this guy looking. (teenage) and i was like "strange" he looks familiar. Anyways after that i didnt care. My sis wanted to go to the aquarium shop before we left...i gave in. Then i saw the guy at the store. gosh i think he was following. I felt at ease so i was like pushing my sis to go. Anyhow i turned back...and yep he looked.. err freaky stuff. *giggles* jus wanted people to be amused.

catch_icy @ 2004-07-12T21:52:00

2004-07-12T12:27:51Z

I wrote a lil msg to hannah today begin her true bday and all. I figured that a special bday greeting on the actual day is meaningful than an advanced greeting. Icouldnt quite call her...my throat is sore...this morning i woke up and no sound came out. My sis was singing using the karoke...i so wanted to sing. I still did..but i think thats how it got worse. Ah well, it saves me from screaming...but now i cant even laugh.

(cat)yeh ..the music in shoe stores can be a bit of a bore and dreadful at times...but dude you got to go shoe shopping... which i enjoy also. I do hope that you feel better and actually know what troubles you. I can relate and at times its one thing to be troubled but also not knowing why can be of a blur. I wont give you meaningful statements or thoughts on the issue. I dont think you need to hear it especially from a confused girl like me. We all have issues...me being the melodramatic queen in my family. Im so uncertain with almost everything...but i only know i can deal with it by expressing them through writing. Take care of yourself. smile please. :)

hidden thoughts can never be expressed...

2004-07-11T14:23:04Z

i should be in bed by now. Yet i had the urge to blog. The streets are empty with cars parked inside the garages along with my car. The silence of the street wholly suggest the absence of sleepless individuals. Looking out the window, the misty air and cold breeze have frosted onto the windows of the remaining cars left outside. Every single out is out and the only light i think is my bedroom light. Strangely i feel like im forced to sleep now err..

bascially was freshly looking back on yesterday and tonight. The party was excellent, heaps of guest..many that the debutine had not known or jus heard of. Heaps of pressies were given. I personally enjoyed the company of my friends i hadnt seen for ages. The house was filled with purple and white balloons. It was quite strange to first enter the house jus because of the strangers but towards the half end of the nite..i was comfortable with the strangers and jus mingled with my friends. I got to help with the giveaway preparations. It was a cute small shoot glass with mint lollies in a bag of lacey wrapping and ribbon...cute cute.
Also finally got to see justin, our cute lil pogi. Rik, edel, mini, mm, hannen and i jus kept making silly remarks. The highlight of the party was the moments with her and jus hanging. SHaring laughter and mucking around with hannah as she blew the cake. We all gathered to take fotos. We had srz fotos, smiling and also muck up fotos trying to group together to fit into the picture. There was jus so much laughs. The guys were funni and actually changed abit but thats okays. i got introduced to Phil's girl, she's heaps nice and outspoken. The nite was ending, i left around 12 ish cos of church today early at 9am.

My sis and i still didnt make it early to church, we were a couple of minutes late. I spent the day listening to music cos thats what i love. I also emptied out my things and sorta went through my belongings since a couple of yrs back during my cute and teenie boppi stage. I went through these dream fotos with my friends. Gosh, i srzly need to place them in a unique sketch book, presented creatively. I also read through my journal i started earlier...i'll hv to continue with that!!.

catch_icy @ 2004-07-10T10:07:00

2004-07-10T00:45:30Z

My holidays have been very good. I hope that i could really do m0re stuff with my friends cos i so so very much miss them all. At times i feel like jus gettin my fone and calling them up but if i do *giggles* i would have no credits within weeks. But aw well i really do try to catch up with friends but somehow something happens that i miss to call. Amy gave me an email like a few days ago...i'll have to do something with her and ruby cos yeh i think that'll be good. Oh and also ruby's going to my uni to study for a semester... yay!! cos i'll see m0re of her. Come to think of it...she's like one of my closest friends from senior high. *smiles*
i think its because we get along well and it really is not hard to talk to her. COs you can get those kind of people.

Anyways hmm...ive been out all week...err but thats okays i suppose. I really dont want to give all details but jus the highlights. Hmm... getting into mischief with my brother...hehe i drive down to my aunties to annoy my cousins...its heaps fun...but wat can i do their soo vulnerable. (cutie cute)

Oh and i caught up with nic and jas...hehehe i swear i cannot keep up with nic and all the things she gets up to. But it was cool to catch up with her..she picked me up at my house...to tell the truth...i wasnt really ready..they waited awhile *giggles* also the fact that we all were wearing pink was weird. We headed up to parra. Nic went shopping...i think all of us did cos we each bought a top. Bought a pressie for hannah's 18th. Oh wat i really think is kool is when we went into city beach. The guys are so friendly, like their not afraid to come up and have a little talk. This guy asked me about my holidays and stuff so yeh... and no i didnt blush. I acted normal. Nic was so funni ..cos this guy...not really cute but he had some appeal...well he asked if we needed help. Nic told him that we were looking for pressies and the guy was like "a wallet for an 18th??"... so i gave a convincing talk that we were going to buy something else..hahah anyways it was jus funni..their kool guys.
For the past days ive been goin to faye's house. Its so fun... just hanging and stuff. We watch movies and hang with her bros while they play with playstation. yesterday i was playing with the dance revolution game. Gosh i sux at the dance moves. But it was fun...thats all that counts..haha as well as it being an exercise method.

Anyways i really should go do some cleaning with the house now cos jas i think is comin over before we head down to hannah's 18th party. Hmm *thinks* wonder if she could help me with my preparations for the party. The party should be fun... i'll be able to see mini, del, ric and mm. I jus hope jas doesnt feel out of place..cos she really know hannah's friends like i do.

catch_icy @ 2004-07-02T12:32:00

2004-07-02T03:11:27Z

Finally finished my exams for this semester. Its such a relief to know that the stress is over and we can absolutely enjoy the holidays this mid year.
This week was basically jus a relaxing week...jus having fun. I decided this holidays that i should try all lots for stuff like taking up a hobby. Im goin to do stuff like reading, painting, drawing, writing, and music jus i way to really express myself or jus no whether where my passion can really be. I know that seems so stupid and ridiculous... but i really gotta try... so at least i know. But maybe it doesnt always have to be bout something that i want ... or need to find...it think its more of jus an expressive method..

anyhows...yesterday i went to parra to meet up with sis and jus hang i supp0se. She asked me ...so i thought i should go.. I dropped some resumes into some stores...in luck for a job. Hehehe ...i dunno whether i should get a job. I mean i want a job for experience and money but hm...people are saying a shouldnt but they wouldnt mind me having a job also. Oh well..he shall decide you me. Anyways walked around, shopped for abit. Then my sis had a suggen urge to get a haircut and hair dyed. It so funni... so off we went to blacktown. Lol dont you think its crazy how jus to get a haircut we must travel to blacktown all the time to get one. You could say our hairdresser is sorta a family hairdresser so yeh...always go to her. I was going to get a haircut also after seeing a hairstyle but the hsirdresser was busy and i didnt want this assistant to give the hair cut so i decided not to. Call me shallow or anything but i really didnt want i bad hair cut that i would regret. It was gonna be past shoulders with striking layers...maybe with abit of dye like blue/black ...ah well next time.

While waiting, my aunt called wanting to know whether i wanted to go watch spiderman...lol of course i did ... who doesnt like the freebie of going to the movies with tickets paid for. *giggles*. I was so mean ...i left my sis to go to the movies and rushed to the train station to catch the 3:30 train home to realise that it was late a couple of minutes.
Anyways all turned out good...the movie was great. But wat made it m0re fun was watching it with my 5 and 3 yr old cousins. Their the greatest to bomb out with to have fun... to an extent. Oh and there was an incident. OMG srzly i dont think i shouldnt babysit children i really think so. The cinema had to be clean before we could all sit down... anyways Allyson was holding onto my hand...and i dont really remember much but somehow she ended up in some other grls hand...it was hilarious cos um the other grl was wearing a pink top and jeans like me.. so yeh ...allyson was so cute cos she still held on even though we were waving to her.

the nite didnt end there...after the movie...we all went h0me to find that my m0mmy wanted to go shopping... hehe i always go grocery shoppin with her...cos she will end up buying the essential stuff and not junk food or wat i call my "healthly foods". Sori but the drastic tales for my life on a thursday but i didnt want to embed anyone with my melancholic mind hehe... till next time. :)

catch_icy @ 2004-06-23T20:50:00

2004-06-23T11:15:22Z

im so dreadfully drained.. *sighs*

argh!! all these exams gosh..whens it gonna end?? i swear sometimes i think what is not painful...doin the exams and being in such a pressure during it or the long and continuously studyin of 12 hrs a day?? obviously you can imagine the anxiety bacause of these exams... and actually seriously these exams can actually come and haunt you even as you sleep..
Jus the other nite.. before management exam which was today (mind you i think i did alright... not too many guesses so im hoping thats fine) anyways yeh.. as i was tossing and turning.. i swear all these information that i couldnt remember remember suddenly emerged. Its so shit cos why in my sleep remember things instead of during exams?..ah well

Anyways after the managment exam, Marion gave me a lift to st marys station.. Its funni cos the stn would have been okay but she didnt know the way to the station..obviously thats strange cos its jus off the main street. *giggles*
Ah..it was really nice to be back to the stn... *sigh* my memories of school .. i swear ..yr 11 and 12 was the best yrs of highschool. Oh yeh as i walked up the stairs...i was jus takin it all in.. Remembering the stairs and running to the station...missing the train lol...with all our efforts heheh.. funni moments..anyways cant wait till the holidays... im gonna meet up with friends Yay!!
ohh... heheh i do also plan to get my red p's during that time so err.. hope for the best *fingers crossed* lol..
need to be determined.

catch_icy @ 2004-06-17T15:32:00

2004-06-17T05:48:04Z

omg!! ive been sooo lazy to study for management, i know i should but i jus cant grasp the motivation to start it..
management is something that pipol can do without...srzly especially if the lecturer is not that enthusiastic as they should...*giggles*

anyways i jus couldnt start so i went grocery shopping with my tita (aunty). Obviously i was somewhat spoilt hehehe i got to choose my junk food and stuff... oohh... and what was kool was i saw bobby hehehe .... its been awhile since i saw him heheh.. he looks the same. Sometimes i often wonder what my friends are doin now.. since yr 12. wonder whether their in uni...tafe...working or doin somewhat good and not wasting that. Srzly i jus hope that everyone is doin something that it progressive into something that is worth the while. Cos i dont want people regretting things or fearing something and not taking that opportunity and then missing out. The one thing what people should not be living in is....REGRET!!

As long as there is a focus...and pipol strive for that excellence.... thats wat matters the most...I personally wouldnt want to cos i hate that. But to tell the truth... i have regrets but you learn to forget.

catch_icy @ 2004-06-13T09:21:00

2004-06-12T23:38:29Z

out of the days, today..*thinks* well at this moment in time. im okay...i hvnt been really discontented with everything thats been happening, maybe cos i hvnt had time to think about anything else besides uni exams. Ive been very...and when i mean VERY i mean like studying hard that i hvnt done any h0use work, no time to met up with friends or even visit my relatives. yeh i hope that my studying is sufficient enough to allow me to get the best results that i want.. :)

anyways..theres nothing much to say really cos i hvnt done much lately...ALL i can say is at this moment in time...hehe im at peace in mind.. *giggles* ...i feel contented i suppose ...im really trying hard to be satisfied with wat i hv and will grasp in the coming times...i jus hope that i dont realise what i have till its gone..

Last nite i went to church...you can say that church is really a place of peace in mind. Its very heart warming and jus knowing that all the goodness in life can be appreciated by attending church and jus know that everything will be alright. One thing that i have learnt is to accept the mistakes and accept those consequences whether they may be positive or negative. But m0st of all..all the uncertainities and fears and wants in life, i dont keep them inside but instead say it out in my mind in church... releasing all my tensions...

It truely is peace of mind...

catch_icy @ 2004-06-07T12:04:00

2004-06-07T02:14:43Z

soo many birthdays this week... imagine four pipol had there bdays...so well...heheh thats probably why i didnt get much studying d0ne last weekend...BUT hopefully i jam and study harder now..sigh... i so dun want to repeat subject nxt year, cos i might change courses...

anyways ...all alone at the m0ment...gosh noone to talk to...but its kool. dads at a job interview..and most likely my lil bro has a job..umm i always think im the odd one at in my family...i find it very strange. Like theres alot of things that i dunt do.

my remark today is what my sis said today to me and that was... her friend define cute as: ugly but at the same time surprisingly interesting. heheh that got me thinkin..cos i find alot of things cute...i can somewhat apply that definition with some of the things that i find cute..ehehe

hmm..im hungry might swip up some lunch!!.....giggles

the hopes of an encanted visage..

2004-06-02T23:24:48Z

I really think and wonder about certain issues at times which i had been avoiding at times..and dont want to come to terms with....

okay...i know i should be grateful that i got into uni but the point to which i dont belong has got to me. i feel like there's more challenges and more out of university that i hvnt grasp yet and i suppose im seeking that at times. Im on the verge of contentment, my uni friends are jus the best friends to have especially when university is at its toughest times..( so..thanks for the funnniest times )..but i think its time to fully focus on wat would make me contented. I really need to decide whether business and commerce is actually for me... i havnt encountered or discovered my true passions in life and i suppose i must need the boost of an inspiration..it might sound mildly weird but its wat is bothering me at this point in time... knowing that others actually know but they want to do, scares me at times kn0wing that i have not found it yet..i really have not yet found a true place that i feel warmly about..

Knowing that s0meone doesnt know wat they want is one thing but also knowing that someone else thinks your lost ..says m0re to you than anything...makes you really wonder..
I feel lost and isolated at times, not meaning friends that in the sense of mentally...especially when im by myself walkin or waiting ..i hv my music..obviously disclosin me from everything that i want to shut out..friends at times...issues...basically reality...You canNot approach when im in that trance..

I cant change many things but i can make the m0st out of what i have and dont have but yearns in my heart...

wonderous minds and encounters

2004-06-01T10:44:57Z

last thursday was an okay day for meeh.. i got to catch up with some of my old friends at that was all cos i had to buy jas' pressie at parra...hehehe

my friend was waiting at the traffic lights to cross the road as i got off the train... i felt kinda mean cos i didnt really want to talk or say hi cos i had nothing to say.. but cos im a true believer of fate and all...i decided if he said hi then i would talk...him being nice at all said hi cos yeh ..we caught up with gossips heheh...its kool cos i had company as a waited for my sis to finish work..

i saw another friend that i hadnt talked to in awhile like a month or so.. wat was funni was that i saw him by himself, in the centre of the entrance to the entery..very surprising..i was jus gonna pass him and i jus he thought that too but i couldnt jus not say hi so yeh i had to see how he was doin and stuff.. err i suppose i dont like encounters...sometimes im not prepared for them ... i guess we can never especially when there's like a cause of the distance in the friendship..hmm..

do you sometimes wonder while we meet certain people...why when you think of a person..then suddenly you see him. WHy is it that most of the time we try to ignore people cos of the fact we perceive it that the person doesnt want to talk to you..but then it all clears out that it was jus a misunderstanding ...

catch_icy @ 2004-05-25T20:24:00

2004-05-25T11:16:31Z

my gosh...this flu i hv aint goin away...

anyways...this mornin i went t0 uni to jus study early..
i was very distracting cos people kept walking by and the fact that i kept sniffing m0st of the time ..argh!!!
first semester is alm0st finsihed..horray for that!!!
n0w i jus gotta study for the finals...

i swear..while studying my mind kept going places, kept thinking of different people..bagging out the people around me..and things i should do and shouldnt have done ..argh!! and at that point i jus could not study anymore...

i jus hate the fact that i reminisce the past..argh
the things that i could hv controlled and that i had control of..argh..!! knowing that i had something and then didnt appreciate it till it was gone...sigh. i hate that i hesitant upon certain issues...why dun i jus go with things..why must i make this complicated for myself.??

sighs..ah well minds made up now and i cant change my doings...shall hv to face the end results.

catch_icy @ 2004-05-19T20:49:00

2004-05-19T11:09:08Z

o0. its been ages blogging...uni is alm0st over, jus oNe asSignment and the yearlies...hm...

g0t up early to do business law today...studied in the library...whilst finding bo0ks i saw one of my friends with a guy.. err...you can say i was kinda puzzled cos i th0ught she didNt like him aNym0re but i jus not. Then i thought to myself...why do guys after a date...dont return msgs or speak to the gal afterwards...whats wid that...why caNt they say it to the girl in personal..hmm...strange...and h0w supposedly their friends agen.

i wiShed i saw my friend today :( ..

... anyhows return to business law...

catch_icy @ 2004-05-08T22:09:00

2004-05-08T12:24:02Z

ah!!tiring day...

uni is such an energy drain...last night i went to bed early argh!! i dont normally do that. Anyways woke up early this early, gosh mom...i swear kept yelling at us cos the h0use was messing. I mean i know its messing cos i hvnt cleaned up since 2 weeks ag0. but still uni was at fault ..cos it takes up to much of my time ..*sigh*.. so yeh... obviously had to clean up...

After that, sis and i decided to go to the city to buy shoes and my mommy's mother's day pressie... Yeh ..very high class to go all the way to the city jus to buy shoes and pressie..
Omg..this mother's day present was hugh this here... My sis bought her cool water perfume at myers,and i bought this glass fruit bowl from victoria building...bery stylish mommy.. anyways i was happi cos i got to buy shoes,..very cute.!! omg i have spent soo much on shoes.. i jus bought shoes yesterday and now today...lol hehehe...

...at this moment my mommy jus opened her pressies...omg looking at my moms' facial expression...really was a blessed feeling...that the thought of buying her s0mething that she didnt expect jus was very heart felt... ohh,.i love that!!

catch_icy @ 2004-05-06T21:07:00

2004-05-06T11:14:54Z

its been heaps while since blogging....

*breathes* yay!! finally i can rest !!! the last weeks hv been reckless for me err...assignments were due and stuff...
but its all good cos jus n0w hv 2 m0re assignments and jus study for the yearly... wow its been that long..

Grandparents are here in sydney for awhile as tourists ...seeing the different places and stuff ..err..
gosh its so hard to talk to them..like i want to but i have difficulties in saying stuff...so i jus say the basics of it..

ciao.

catch_icy @ 2004-04-24T13:47:00

2004-04-24T04:16:43Z

hmm... the days are going by real fast..err.. it strikes me today has i woke up...heheh i set my mobile at 4:30am. Yeah! its kinda early but i have too...uni is just not giving me enough time to sleep.. The whole day is practically consumed by excessive reading and essay writings.. i cant even remember sitting in a comfy sofa ..hehehe ...

This morning...i dunno but i felt uncontented...something was missing ...or the something was fulfilled...i mean besides uni workload...it was something else.. I can describe it cos hmm... i undefined and so hence it cant be undescribed. You know how one thing can lead to another or that you jus long for something that cant necessarily be...eeks.. i cant explain!! head is spinning and this f!@# assessments are annoying me to the point i want to collapse and breakdown!! hehe... but then again thats not the point of it all...

Frustrated by all this hehe!!
ciao :)

catch_icy @ 2004-04-23T00:14:00

2004-04-22T14:14:49Z

...err sucks to be meeh!! hahaha A profile of me... stress head, anxious, forward thinker, pessimistic, dreamer, selfish, stubborn, realistic, chilidish, cheeky, aggravated, bitchy, discontented, ditzy, drained, nostalgic,...blah...blah!!!!

catch_icy @ 2004-04-17T19:51:00

2004-04-17T09:58:42Z

hmmm... not much to say today...
jus that im handling everything with s0me courage and determination!!...went to uni library thats all...
and had dinner at my aunts!!..

oohhh...congrats anita!!!yay!!! so jealous she got her provision license ... yay!! that means no walking to the station all the time ..heheh shit man its like 15-20 min walk to the train station from uni you know...geez when will i get my p' license..sigh

Anyways, all by myself at the m0ment hopefully not for too long. My parents and bro went to newcastle for a party today...argh!!! so jealous i wanted to go but i had to stay h0me to do shit load of stuff heheh...aww wells maybe next time...

catch_icy @ 2004-04-16T20:45:00

2004-04-16T11:02:31Z

why is it that everything always has to be undercontrolled? err i so annoyed and overwhelmed with eveything thats been happening. Why cant i not care about anything at all? and must i hv to face everything that falls in due time? argh!!

and i keep thinking of this person..why should i..or even care? argh i jus dont even want to bring the subject up and other things cos it'll annoy me. the memories were gradually fading away ..and then seeing the person made everything come back agen. sigh.. like the things that i wanted to forget ...even the slight grasp of the person.

hmm...i spent all day today by myself. Everyone went out and i was left to do my uni work..err i hate being alone especially when i know pipol are enjoying themselve. And
i hate the fact that being alone means silence. i hate that...i really do!!! sigh

till then...

catch_icy @ 2004-04-15T20:01:00

2004-04-15T10:19:26Z

ohh what i dreadful day !! ...hmm well this afternoon anyways... it so ticks me wen i dont have everything in order or maybe under control...i feel so annoyed...err i was only suppose to spend one hour at the library this arvo to find info...and ive been so hectic with uni that a book was overdue and i couldnt borrow books that took forever to find...obviously ..being 15 mins away from uni i had to return h0me and take the overdue book back...err and so i basically spent 4 hrs away when i could hv done my assignments...err and cos i was driving i could ssooo tired...2-3 hrs driving is tiring you know..!!!

hmph..anyways ...not all day was bad..went to the shops with my auntie and my 2 lil cousins...there so cute i swear.. aj was wearing a cute dress cos that was good...she wasnt rugged looking.. I cant believe my aunt spent $15 on jaiden's haircut..5 yrs should spend less.. such small amounts of hair than adult yet i think its the same or similar price..lol.. smiles..the bank incident was hilarious too... while waiting so my aunt to do wateva she does in the bank..aj and jaiden jus kept quite around the pipol who were waiting, i suppose they got tired and bored that they decided to muck up.. They had like a lil drama scene with these inflattable hammer that my bro got from the easter show and pretended that it was a sword. It was so cute cos they had a battle scene and so they were acting it out..they made funni noises...aj was cute cos she actually acted out the death scene where she fell to the ground literally..lol jaiden won the battle...aww sigh there so cute. I love them sssssoooo sssooo much hehe (mmuuuaaaahhhhh!!!)

catch_icy @ 2004-04-12T21:33:00

2004-04-12T12:10:30Z

lol...went to the easter show this morning. HAHa it was funni cos my bro woke up so early this morning compared to all the other days where he would wake up at 11 or 12noon. That was a first!! anyways got ready and was goin with my family friends lol... marie is so cute cos she always wants to follow where ever i was going... she's so frank with me..this morning as i walked into their front door the first thing she said was 'im going in your car' obviously being me i didnt register that quick and i was like 'huh?' and she can be demanding or maybe that her way of asking?? who knows really!! argh and then they took forever to get ready ...i was up and ready by 8am... hehe we left to go to blacktown at 9:30am gosh ssooo long.

The weather was actually good..it was sunni but not really..ish good cos i didnt want to get sunburnt hehe... The displays were good but we didnt get the chance to see all...especially the woolworths display !! sighs .. but its okay... The animals were the same like last yr nothing majorly changed accept that this time i patted the animals and feed them hehe..We went on rides..it was heaps fun !! i went on the bumper cars...hehe thats was excellent ... lil marie was my passenger and she kept steppin on the breaks so we couldnt drive probably...im very chaotic whilst i know i can drive stupidly lol..i went on the rollercoaster cos i know that my stomach and myself can hold it together...im so game sometimes to go to freaky rides but i cant manage to actually go up there, cos i dont know what to expect err nxt time shall go hehe. Reid got lost ...that was funni and worryin too especially the reason why he got lost lol *giggles*... argh i felt to jealous with the girls who carried their big ass stuff toys ...most likely given to them by their 'boyfriends' err...i want one... its different when someone wins it for you ..sigh someday i will hv one hehehe!!!...and i will get plenty of stuffed toys.

anyways so tired...nothing much on my mind except uni work...nites

catch_icy @ 2004-04-11T22:52:00

2004-04-11T13:06:16Z

must go to bed soon, must sleep gonna collapse...oh wells

i went to church today, i woke up early in the morning. Church was really good cos there were heaps of pipol, maybe cos its easter sunday. anyways the choir was good, sometimes i wished that i was singin, i dunno but somehow singing in church makes me contented with life and the happiness of life for that matter. The church music is so melow and soft i love it. This girl sang stay with me lord, i love that song. Somehow its so moving to listen to the lyrics. It made me realised that all my prayers are somewhat heard. I dont think for a second that the almighty wasnt there for me. Everything was there for me and all i needed to do was grab the oppotunity, Everything i think was presented to me, and i can onli blame myself for that cos it was my choice and everything. Its weird how you dont expect something, but you question it anyways. There are also sometimes a twist of fate that leads you to somewhere and its weird and awkward to think that or whats behind the reason for all this. i try to recognise the meaning of it but sometimes you jus have to go with it and see where it may lead. All reasons are unrecognised ...

catch_icy @ 2004-04-10T22:21:00

2004-04-10T12:41:40Z

The simplicity in life is n0t applicable to me anym0re. Life f0r meeh at the m0meNt is s0mewhat a routiNe. Uni is such a brain drain and s00 time c0nsuming much is speNt 0n friends and partyiNg. But i supp0se its alright c0s im pre0ccupied aNd keeps me busy...but theres an exteNt to that really. At the m0meNt heaps is spent 0n uni work, and essays hard to start...procrastinated al0t..hehe

I jus g0t back from marie's party and g0sh i hv t0 return to do w0rk...mmm maybe i sh0uldnt spend time partying must d0 w0rk...anyways the party was good, i got into mischief with faye. In the beginning i entertained the guest with karoke, heheh (im n0 go0d with singing) but yeh it was fuN..
I got into mischief with faye cos yeh very chicky tonight.. hehe we felt adventurous and so we weNt walkin in the dark and hmm.. it was dark.. i decided to f0llow my br0 and see wHere theY were hidiNg or hangiNg... in order to do that we had to g0 behing my aunt's backyard to listen t0 them.. so hehe we crept behind my aunt's place to see what my bro was up too...lol *giggles* obviously we werent heard. It was jus so funni cos we kept giggles behind the feNce. lol we werent caught so yeh all good.. the feeliNg of being childish.

Basically speNt the night chatting and mucking aroUnd and making pranks on every0ne. heheh i als0 got to learn h0w to play my immortal by evanescence on the piano lol...jus hv to perfect that, YAY!! its heaps go0d i love that deep, meaniNgful melody and the power or appeal that it sends 0ut to me hehehe...

anyways must do w0rk. Marie happy happy bday...h0pe you enj0yed the day !!!